Worth It
by StaubreyBechloeGoals4Life
Summary: Not everyone has the same coming out story or the perfect one. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad, but it rarely happens the way you draw it up in your mind. For Stacie, her coming out was a simple declaration. For Aubrey, it is a process.


AN: This one-shot has been floating around in my head ever since watching some episodes of the new CW show _Batwoman_. I hope you enjoy!

Stacie was never one to believe in sappy romances or soulmates. It all seemed quite illogical and more like something sold by Disney or Hallmark, but in that moment, she could feel it. As she lay in bed with Aubrey, sated after yet another round of mind-altering orgasms, she couldn't help but to feel like she was finally where she belonged. She buried her nose into Aubrey's hair and the blonde giggled as she rolled back on top of her. Aubrey settled between her legs and Stacie was more than happy to be held so intimately as Aubrey peppered kisses along her collarbone. Their eyes met and Stacie saw it in her eyes before Aubrey even said the words. She pulled her closer and could feel Aubrey's heart racing as they gazed at one another.

"Stace, I…" The words seemed caught in her throat and Stacie assumed she would have to be the one to say them first, just like she was the one to ask Aubrey out, multiple times, and ask her to be exclusive. It surprised her when the blonde ran a hand through her hair, tenderly kissed her, and finished her sentence.

"Stace, I love you," she whispered and Stacie felt her heart flutter. She beamed with happiness and Aubrey did as well, looking relieved at the response.

"I love you too, Bree, so much," whispered Stacie before passionately kissing her girlfriend. She laughed when Aubrey tugged at her leg to hitch it over her waist and gave her a wink.

"Good because I can't get enough you," said Aubrey with the seductive grin she knew made Stacie melt. They'd already spent the afternoon making love and yet Stacie knew it would be an even better night.

Stacie startled awake when she heard someone calling her name. She looked around and sighed when she realized she had fallen asleep during the episode she was supposed to be watching with her brothers. The dream she had was more like a memory, one of the best memories of her life, the moment she and Aubrey confessed their love for one another.

"You okay," asked Derek and she slowly nodded as she sat up.

"Yea, I just fell asleep. Sorry, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep since I've been home. I'm a bit jetlagged," she mumbled.

"You sure that's it? You've been acting weird ever since we picked you up from the airport. I thought you would be happy to be home for Spring Break and away from all the Barden drama," said EJ and Stacie sighed. She told herself the distance would help, but she couldn't stop thinking about Aubrey. She told her family she was just tired and needed to regroup from all things school and Bellas related but the truth was that she needed desperately to shut her brain and heart off to recover from the fight she had with her girlfriend.

The break at home was supposed to be the perfect escape from the ache in her heart, the dread that surged in her stomach, and the nagging in the back of her head after the way they left things, but her mind never stopped thinking about their argument for long. It didn't matter that it was her favorite type of day in Oregon, cloudy and cool enough outside for a hoodie or that she was curled up on the couch binge-watching one of her favorite shows with her brothers. She thought about Aubrey whether she was awake or asleep and their relationship weighed heavy on her heart and mind. She ignored her brother's question and grabbed the empty bowl of popcorn.

"I need more snacks. Be back," she grumbled, but Derek gave her a look as she stood up.

"Stace, come on. Talk to us. We all know something is going on. Even mom and dad have noticed," said Derek and EJ nodded in agreement.

"What's up? Do we need to go kick some guy's butt or something," teased EJ, but he flinched when Derek nudged him. Stacie watched in slight amusement as the two of them gave each other looks, as if communicating silently. She plopped back down on the couch and huffed.

"Okay, enough with the annoying twin telepathy stuff. You know I hate it when you do that," she said and Derek chuckled.

"What, act like twins," he teased and she sighed.

"For your information, EJ, no, you don't have to go kick some guy's butt," said Stacie and EJ slowly nodded as he glanced back at his brother.

"So then…a girl's butt," he tried and Derek nudged him again. This time EJ nudged him back and Stacie giggled.

"There will be no big brother rampages on my account. Besides, it is a bit more complicated than that," she informed and EJ smirked.

"Why am I not surprised? Alright, lay it on us, baby sister. What is going on," asked EJ and Derek nodded.

"Maybe we can help," he suggested and Stacie sighed as she shook her head.

"Unless you two have been in the closet all this time, I don't think so. I'll go get some more snacks," she said and hurried out of the room before they could protest. EJ sighed and shook his head.

"So you were right then, she is heartbroken and has a girlfriend," said EJ and Derek smiled smugly.

"Yep, unlike you, I know our baby sister and am very good with reading emotions…I may have also seen a blonde calling her phone earlier and the contact picture of them looked like they were more than friends," he confessed and laughed as he dodged a pillow EJ threw at him.

Helen eyed her daughter carefully as Stacie plopped the bowl of popcorn onto the counter and let out a heavy sigh. She opened the pantry in search of something and Helen closed the refrigerator door before slowly approaching. Her daughter had been moody ever since she arrived.

"What are you looking for, my love?"

"Candy, I thought I saw some chocolate in here earlier and now that's all I want, but I am sure one of my stupid brothers ate the stupid chocolate," she grumbled. Helen reached for the middle shelf and grabbed a bar of chocolate she brought back from a recent trip to Switzerland. She smiled slyly as she handed it to her.

"I believe you owe your brothers an apology for that accusation. They are a lot of things, but no one can question their intellect…just their maturity," she teased and Stacie smiled a bit.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she reached for a bag of chips. She was surprised to see her mother still standing there, watching her closely.

"What," questioned Stacie and Helen patted her shoulder.

"Come sit with me for a moment. I will make you some hot chocolate," she suggested, which made Stacie gulp.

"Um, I really should get back to watching…"

"I am sure you won't miss much and if you do, you can just have the boys rewind it for you," said Helen as she pulled out a tea kettle and placed it on the stove. Stacie smirked as she sat down.

"They used to hate that when we were little. Remember the Lion King incident," giggled Stacie and Helen did as well.

"In EJ's defense, you did make us watch Mufasa die three times in a row."

"I was trying to calculate the trajectory of the fall. I still think he could have survived and the scene was flawed. Simba didn't need to go through all that pain," she defended and Helen smiled adoringly at her.

"You always did lean on science and hide behind that beautiful brain of yours when reality became too heartbreaking. So, are you ready to talk about it?" Stacie looked out the kitchen window and shrugged. She allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts, remembering the argument she had with Aubrey right before leaving her girlfriend's apartment.

"_It isn't that simple for me, Stace, but I have never once hidden myself from you. It isn't fair that you are giving me an ultimatum."_

"_It isn't an ultimatum…"_

"_Well it sure as hell feels like one! Either I tell my father about us or we are done? Tell me what part of that is fair."_

"_I don't want to be in the closet, Bree. Even if I am in it with you, how is that fair to either of us? What is going to happen when he comes to visit next month? We just don't see each other for the entire time because you are ashamed of us?" Stacie was surprised by the tears she saw in Aubrey's eyes. They weren't the tears that would fill her eyes when the blonde would get angry. They were tears of hurt and heartache._

"_I have never once been ashamed of us. Do I struggle with how to tell my father about my sexuality? Yes, but I have never once hid my feelings for you. You are the only person I have ever been this open with and if you can't see that I am giving everything to you then…" She clenched her jaw in frustration as she looked down and while Stacie was afraid to, she still asked the question._

"_Then what, Bree?" _

"_Then what I am even fighting for if it isn't enough for you?"_

"_I guess we both have a lot to think about while I am gone then." And with that, Stacie walked out of the apartment, refusing to turn around when she heard Aubrey sob._

She was snapped out of her thoughts by her mother placing a cup of hot chocolate in front of her and sitting down. She was surprised to feel the tear slipping down her cheek and quickly wiped it away.

"What's she like," asked Helen and Stacie sighed.

"How do you know it is a woman," challenged Stacie and Helen smirked.

"Because I know you…and I saw her name and picture flash across your phone a couple of times since you have been home," admitted Helen.

"I've been trying to clear my head a bit but it is pretty hard when the only person you think about also keeps trying to talk to you."

"Why are you avoiding her?"

"Because I am terrified if I answer that phone and she officially breaks up with me, I'll crumble. Things are so screwed up right now between us," she said as she placed her face in her hands and Helen scooted over to pull her in for a hug.

"Maybe talking about it can help you gain the clarity you are seeking," advised Helen and Stacie sighed.

"Her name is Aubrey, as you probably saw on my phone."

"Aubrey, as in your former captain?"

"Yea, we hung out a lot during my freshman year and got even closer over the summer."

"When you took the summer internship at Georgia Tech? I knew you had other reasons for staying there last summer."

"Even though she graduated, she stayed in the area. Chloe moved out of the apartment since she was heading home for the summer and then moving into the Bella House after that so we got to spend the summer together. No Bellas, no competitions, just me and her. I knew it would be nice, but I didn't expect to fall so hard."

"I've known for a while you met someone but your father and I didn't want to pressure you into telling us. You know we would never be upset about you dating a woman, right?"

"Of course I know that. It was just kept quiet for a bit. At first, Aubrey didn't want anyone to know about us and that was fine with me. I mean it isn't like I needed all the Bellas in my business and things were complicated because she was my captain, but we did eventually tell them. Everything was fine until her stupid dad called and told her he is coming in town next month. She started acting differently last week. I could tell she was freaked out about it, but I didn't expect her to say we would need to be apart while he was in town. It's like she is embarrassed to be seen with me. How is that supposed to make me feel?"

"Stace, do you really think she is embarrassed of you or scared about telling her father? That's a big decision to make, coming out of the closet."

"But she is already out of the closet. We told our friends and she has no problem being seen out with me, but suddenly her father announces he is coming into town and she starts acting weird around me? What am I supposed to do with that?"

"So her family doesn't know at all? None of them know?" Stacie ran a hand through her hair as she looked down.

"Her father is really strict and a General in the military. She lost her mom when she was a kid. I know her grandparents are extremely religious so, no, but I don't understand why she can't tell her father. I mean, I get it, but I can tell it is killing her. She hates hiding so much of herself from him and she seems so ashamed. It literally causes her to vomit sometimes from all the pressure and fear of just thinking about him coming to visit. I know if she just put it out there with him, it would make it better." Helen slowly nodded and kissed her forehead.

"Oh, sweetheart, I love you so much. You are usually pragmatic and logical and only want what is best for everyone in your life, but you are wrong about this one."

"Wait, you are supposed to be on my side here, mom. The woman I love is probably about to break up with me because she doesn't want to tell her dad she is gay and you agree with her?"

"Of course not, but I don't think you are taking her perspective into consideration either. Have you weighed the consequences of her actions and the choices she has?"

"Of course I have, I am a scientist at heart. If she comes out, she can stop carrying around all that guilt and pressure she feels, which could help their relationship."

"And if he or her grandparents don't take it well?" Stacie sighed.

"Then they don't deserve her." Helen giggled and shook her head.

"That's your blind spot and I understand it. Truly, I do, and I am partly to blame for it. Stacie, life isn't always that simple for everyone. Look around you, my love, do you really not see how your perception may be skewed?" Stacie took in a shaky breath and shrugged.

"I don't know. All I know is that we love each other and I don't want to have to hide that or for her to have to pretend anymore. I see the way it affects her." Helen slipped her hand into her daughter's.

"I still remember the day you came out to us. You were eight and your father didn't take you seriously until your fourteenth birthday when you said you had crushes on Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears and wanted to dress like Boy George for Halloween."

"Aw yes, my cookie cutter pop and boy band phase…I guess the love of blondes stuck though," she admitted.

"You were so logical about your assessment of your sexuality, which even surprised me at such a young age. You said you calculated the population of the world, the probabilities of chance encounters with different humans based on the average lifespan, and didn't want to filter out options unnecessarily."

"I stand by that assessment. The world is full of a lot of people and most will be incompatible with me. It is highly illogical to filter out those that may be compatible based on gender or sex."

"But much like most other subject matters in this world, not everyone thinks like you, my love. In fact, most don't and while it may seem like the most logical thing in the world for you to be pansexual and announce that at eight, most people were not raised in such open households. It took your father's parents time to accept that you may not bring the strapping young man home for the holidays they imagined you would and my grandparents would struggle immensely to accept that if they were still with us. Your father and I wanted to raise you and your brothers to embrace love and to be honest with yourselves and us about that, but it is illogical to believe most people were raised that way. Aubrey obviously wasn't and you are asking her to go against everything she was raised to believe."

"So what, I am just supposed to live in shame with her?"

"No, but you need to be honest with yourself and assess your options here as well. Are you willing to lose her over this? Is this your deal breaker or can you compromise? Is there a way for you to get what you need while also making sure she does as well? That's the hardest part of being in love, Stacie. It was even difficult for me when your father and I first met and my brain is not nearly as analytical as yours. You said it yourself. You love her. You shouldn't take that lightly. Talk to her."

"I will. I just don't know what to say. I mean it is the 21st century. We shouldn't have to hide who we are."

"Ideally, no, but it sounds like she comes from a very conservative family and you go to school in Georgia. I worry all the time about how you are being treated there."

"You do," asked Stacie in surprise and Helen scoffed.

"Portland is pretty open but still has its issues. I try my best not to imagine what it is like in that region of the country because the history and reputation terrifies me. It isn't just about that though. This is about you and her and who you want to be to her."

"I want to be the woman she loves. I want to be enough of a reason for her to come out," she argued as angry tears filled her eyes. Helen sighed and cupped her cheek.

"And I understand how much you want that, but I need you to hear this and know it only comes from a place of love." Stacie slowly nodded and gulped.

"Okay," she conceded and Helen wiped a tear from her daughter's cheek.

"Not everyone is as lucky as you and no one wants to stay in the closet. They do it out of fear and real concerns, sometimes even for their safety. It is not your place to force her out of the closet no matter how much you love her or want what is best for her. Only she can decide that for herself and decide when she is ready. I hate that we live in a world where your girlfriend fears the happiness she feels with you around her father, but you can't force her out of the closet and it isn't right to try. If you love her, don't be yet another person in her life trying to force her to make decisions about her sexuality." Stacie looked down as Helen stood up and kissed the top of her head.

"I know you have a lot to think about, so I will leave you with your hot chocolate. Your father should be back from his run in a bit if you want to talk to him about anything." Stacie slowly nodded as Helen walked away.

"Mom," she called and Helen turned back to face her.

"I do know how lucky I am to have all of you." Helen winked at her and left as Stacie slouched down in her chair. Everything felt muddled up in her mind, but she already knew what she needed to do, just not how.

It didn't take her long to make her decision and she wasn't surprised when her family supported it. They always did. The flight back to Atlanta was long and she spent it agonizing over what to say and how Aubrey would react. The taxi ride to Aubrey's apartment felt even longer, but she finally was at her door, frozen in place and heart racing. She managed to work up the courage to knock and sighed in relief when Aubrey answered the door. She looked exhausted but adorable in the Barden hooded sweatshirt Stacie let her have, a pair of boy shorts, and her hair in a sloppy bun. Stacie had to blink twice to refocus on the task at hand and not how much she yearned to touch her.

"Thank God, it would've sucked if you weren't home, something I probably should have thought about before…"

"Stace, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Portland," questioned Aubrey as she protectively wrapped her arms around herself, something Stacie knew she did when she felt vulnerable.

"I was, but I hate how we…well, how I left things and I needed to see you. Can I come in," she asked hopefully and Aubrey quickly nodded.

"Yea, of course, sorry, I am just surprised. I thought you hated me," she confessed as she stepped aside so Stacie could enter.

"Bree, I could never hate you. I am so sorry for what I said and how I said it." Aubrey sighed in relief as she closed the door.

"I tried calling you…a lot."

"I know and…"

"No, I need to get this out. The last time you were here, I didn't say everything I wanted and I regretted it, so please let me finish." Stacie slowly nodded and braced herself for the worst as Aubrey continued.

"First off, it sucks you've been avoiding me. I have always put myself out there for you and been honest and for that I get the silent treatment? I know you want to be with someone who is completely out and open and I get that, but I need to know you aren't going to abandon me the moment I don't do what you want." Stacie looked down and Aubrey crossed her arms.

"That's all I wanted to say. It seemed like there was more when I recited it in my head," said Aubrey and Stacie sighed.

"You are right. I have been a total ass for not answering my phone. I just got really scared you were breaking up with me and…"

"Whoa, what, Stace, I don't want to break up. I thought you wanted to break up with me." Stacie groaned and quickly shook her head.

"I royally screwed this up so how about this," she suggested and before Aubrey could question her, Stacie pulled her into her arms and tenderly kissed her. Aubrey melted into the kiss and pulled her closer, yearning to finally touch her girlfriend after the past three days. Stacie leaned her forehead against Aubrey's and let out a sigh of relief.

"I am so damn sorry, Bree. I love you and I had no right to pressure you about your dad."

"I know you want me to tell him and I know I should. It just isn't that easy for me."

"It wasn't my place and I know that. I had a really good talk with my mom about it but surprisingly the best advice came from my brother before I left."

"What did Derek say," asked Aubrey as she wrapped her arms around Stacie's waist and the brunette giggled.

"Actually, it was EJ."

"EJ, the brother you said you rarely see eye to eye with, gave you relationship advice?"

"Yes and it was good advice. He asked if I love you and I told him the truth. Of course I love you. I want everything with you. And then he told me when in doubt, just don't be an asshole."

"Simple and to the point, I like it," teased Aubrey and Stacie smiled as she cupped her face.

"The truth is it scares me how much I love you and when you started to pull away from me after hearing from your dad, it hurt, a lot. It made me feel like you aren't as serious about me as I am about you."

"I get that and that's one of the reasons I was calling you. I love you, Stacie, and I never want to lose you. I wanted some advice too, so I called Chloe. She suggested I just be honest with you about everything and she is right. The truth is, I was really hurt too because sometimes I don't think you realize how much of myself I give to you and how difficult that is for me. I wasn't raised to be so open and in love. After my mom passed, my dad shut down and everyone else was just expected to fall in line and soldier on. You are the only person I have ever let into my heart like this, a fact which Chloe took exception with but eventually said she understands." Stacie giggled and shook her head in amusement.

"That sounds like Chloe."

"And I know you want me to tell my father but…"

"It isn't my place and there is absolutely no pressure," assured Stacie and Aubrey bit her lip nervously.

"Really, you are okay with me holding off on that for a bit?"

"It took me a minute to work out in my head but I realized how selfish I was being and highly illogical, which for me is almost worse than being selfish."

"I'm aware," giggled Aubrey and Stacie playfully glared at her.

"I was wrong to give you anything close to an ultimatum, especially over something so personal and sensitive. I tried to justify it in my mind because I love you, Aubrey. I want everything with you now and in the future, including the first time meeting your dad. I know we are young but that's just how I feel," confessed Stacie as she looked down, suddenly feeling exposed and insecure. Aubrey cupped her cheek and smiled lovingly at her.

"It is how I feel too, Stace." Stacie sighed in relief.

"Good, which brings me to how illogical I was being. Realistically, based on your own accounts, you see your father a couple of times a year."

"If I am lucky, usually less than that, sometimes on Christmas."

"Right and yet I was focused mainly on those rare encounters. I get to spend most days with you and when I am very lucky, most nights, so out of 365 days in a year, there may be approximately two weeks that may occur where you have to act like a completely different person to impress your father. I get you, the real you, 351 days out of the year, so I think it is highly illogical to risk everything I have with you over such a short amount of time. I will just stay at the Bella House for the week he is here next month…and most likely pout the entire time…but you are worth it."

"I love how that brain of yours works. My father isn't in my life and I had to come to terms with that a while ago, so I do plan on telling him someday, just not now."

"And I can handle that, it isn't mine to tell or judge anyways. All I want is your happiness and while I hate how your father treats you, I am so sorry I ever called into question our love for each other over it."

"I did listen to what you were saying though. I never want you to think I am ashamed of you, Stace, because it is the opposite. I am so proud to be yours. I don't know how I got so damn lucky for you to want me the way I want you but I am not taking it for granted.

So, are we okay?" Stacie sighed in relief.

"Even better than okay, which is why I was kind of hoping you would come to Portland with me." Aubrey bit her lip nervously.

"You mean actually meet your parents?"

"And my brothers, but don't worry, they already love you…mainly because they get to tease me about you. I haven't exactly been in love before or brought anyone home to ever meet them."

"When would we go?"

"Oh, you know, this summer…or now," suggested Stacie and Aubrey's eyes widened.

"What do you mean by now?"

"Well, I wanted to get back quickly to make up for being such an ass to my amazing girlfriend so I took one of the jets back."

"One of the jets…as in there are multiple jets?"

"I told you my family is well off."

"I know. It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around sometimes. You aren't one to show your cards very often, especially not the heiress card. I just now got you to show me the genius one."

"Well then consider this my way of sweeping you off your feet to apologize and also show you a family who accepts you for who you are…an anal retentive nerd." She laughed when Aubrey playfully slapped her.

"Hey!"

"My anal retentive nerd, one I love very much," amended Stacie.

"Better."

"So what do you say?" Aubrey pulled her closer and slid her hands down to Stacie's backside.

"How about we compromise? Hot make up sex now and a trip to finish your Spring Break starting tomorrow," suggested Aubrey and Stacie beamed with happiness.

"I love it when we compromise," she giggled before picking Aubrey up into her arms and heading toward the bedroom.

AN: The End! This was just a quick one-shot I wanted to get out of my head after thinking about all the different ways people come out and accept their sexuality and identity. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
